jacketass

okay i take it back, 10000 bc is actually pretty good.
they kinda rewrote the formula for hero though.
apparently you have to be able to talk to cats.
BIG BIG CATS.
cats 2 times bigger then you,
with teeth the size of your head.
yeap, apparently if you save them from drowning,
they become cute little kitty's.
WITH TEETH THE SIZE OF YOUR HEAD.

and guess what,
in the lands of ooga booga,
THEY HAVE DARLIE SUPER WHITENING.
seriously.
covered in dirt and grim, 
hair in tangles,
face caked with sand,
and our hero still has teeth shining like the sun.

oh oh.
in the end, they really had bam bam from the flintstones.
anyone remember the part where the guy faced the rushing troops with the hammer?
BAM BAM BAM.

AND GOOD LORD.
the piercings of those africans.
HOT DAMN.
he pierced his lower lip, from bottom up.

so all in all,
a pretty good show.

FOR SPARTA!!!!!!
AWWOOO AWWOOO AWWOOO!

sup guys,

here's a toast to life, our very dreary life.
hypothesis.

we require bad things in life.
face it guys, holidays may be cool, but what if you had holidays for over 4 months doing nothing?
monotony?
you get bored is what happens.
we all require something bad in our lives, something to compare against.
ain't it true?
sleeping in late on a monday ain't so fun without a school to go to.
pretending to be sick on a tuesday ain't so fun without a supervisor to lie to.

you may think i'm stupid by complaining about this, 
but hell, you will get bored.
we all require a bad guy in life,
work, school, that bitch of a history teacher,
that KNNCCB bio teacher,
that cheena GP teacher,
naggy mothers,
IRRITATING brothers,
but face it, without some bitterness and suffering,
life wouldn't be so sweet.

aha.
bet asked me to post, so i will.

thing is i don;t know what the hell to post about.
so i've decided to freestyle.
FREESTYLING.
JUST SAYING WHATEVER COMES TO MY HEAD.


























okay ben shut the hell up.
i know what you're gonna say.
abriel why your freestyling so quiet one.
DICK.
*its an inside joke between him and his mum, hilarious, really.

OKAY BET. i have no idea how you expect me to post in peace with you talking to me inceessently,
begging me to let you watch OC.
NO NO NO A THOUSAND TIMES NO.
i already told you the requirements,
stop trying to get a discount.

okay so here's how i plan to propose to my would be wife,
it'd be at dinner time, 

my place.
i'd be cooking for her.
airconditioned dining room,
red tablecloth with a beautiful bouquet of red and cream roses in the centre of the table,
an exquisite candlestand, gold i'd think.
long white scented candles.
lavender.
table set for two,
soft music playing softly in the background.
i'd pull out her chair,
sit her, pour her a glass of wine, preferably red.

i'd kneel down, hands bearing a plate,
in the centre a shimmering gold ring,
she see's it.
the main course,
the one she's been waiting for the entire night,
looking into her eyes,
with all the emotion i can muster,
i mouth the words,
MAGGI MEE.

okay sorry i couldn't help it.
i've been laughing to myself over this for quite awhile now.
HERE YOU GO BET.
POSTED.

Drain, the veins in my head,
Cear out the reds in my eye to get by, security lines
Dear X-ray machine,
Pretend that you don;t know me so well,
I won;t tell if you lie.

My absolute-ess favourite-tess song as of now.
i sing myself to sleep sometimes,
usually waking my entire family up in the process.
emo stuff really.

Cry, 'cause your droughts been brought up,
Drinking cause you're looking so good in your starbucks cup i complain,
For the company that i keep,
The winows for sleeping reaarrange well i'm nobody.

beautiful, really.
darn i need a guitar right about now.
the lyrics were hand typed by the way,
long committed to memory.

you're still not over her?

welcome to the world of business politics, 
where one department fights another,
be it for more sales or for the heck of it.

i swear i am totally not prepared for it, guess its in my gentle, trusting nature.
haha actually i couldn;t really care less, i'm leaving in a month neeways.
but you should've seen the atmosphere at work yesterday.
boy oh boy was it tense.
with the person in question not around,
piercing remarks were thrown all round.
its pretty amazing.

so the higher ups sent a supervisor to come check in on us,
in view of our low sales,

NYADRA THE HYDRA.
spitting fire and brimstone, 
she decended on us with wings of fury.
her eyes blazed with a piercing green light,
eyes that could see right through your SOUL.
her words dripped with poison,
each sentence a crippling blow.

haha okay guess who was her 1st victim.
no prizes eh.
when a tourist asked me about ducktours,
i said i duno. before trying to smoke my way outta it by saying it passes by kallang river.
hell, ducktours goes to freaking marina bay abriel the dumbass.

HOHOHO.
so the enxt day there was a email sent out, 
'part-timers have little product knowledge'
and i got flamed.

ah well. 
in times like these, there's only one sentence you need.
SCREW THEM.
haha my collegues have been damn supportive though.
ohh and just a note, 
over at suntec, the cashiers have commission,
so much so that their pay is actually $10/hr.
CHAO CHEE BYE.

okay i went to malaysia two days ago,
and did a facial.
i swear the lady had something against me.
SHE TRIED TO KILL ME I"M SURE OF IT.
i bet she's in it with the hydra.
presenting,
BLACKIE THE BEAST.
yes thats right. blackie the beast.

with claws of steel that could rip your face to shreds,
she ingests blackheads, 
with each one consumed, she gets bolder,
her attacks get more intense,
and your face will just die out eventually.

she pressed my face so hard, i could feel the popping dammit!
afterwards i could actually see the battlezone.
and boy was it ugly.
(duhh ugly, my face what)

neeways, i'm gonna plan a trip to phuket.
you can actually rent a bungalow there.
woohoo.
last week of march,
all interested parties pls contact me.

i'm gonna fight the good fight again,
ROUND TWO.

FINE AMANDA.
here you go.

i'm sorry if i can't post often due to my lack of time to do so coz i'm working and earning money while you're sitting at home in your nice comfortable bed coz you don;t have money to go out.
so there.

and yes, work has been taking up more of my time.
happy new year to you guys.
i've been pretty lucky this year, i won about 25 bucks so far, 
when playing with petty cash, aka 10 cents 20cents.
freaking lucky can,
and in my opinion, its all due to red undies.
yes red undies.
if you want to win big, the best bet would be to wear red undies.
not just any pair of redundies mind you,
they have to be boxers, with red and white checks and little hearts all around.
its the only way i swear,
with the power of hearts, i won 15 bucks in 5 rounds.
ahhh chinese new year, the time of gambling.

there has been this nagging question popping up in my head in every single house i visit.
' where have you been all these 18 years?'
seriously.
i don;t recognise so many of my cousins.
haha this year i plan to remember all their faces.

screw you amanda, its not a freaking story.
its more of a very heavily disguised narrative. with hearts all over.
you bitch.
and guess what, i freaking lost my draft for the sequel.
since i wrote it two weeks ago, i can;t freaking remember what the hell i was writing.
URGHH.
peeved.
very peeved.

here's what i do when i'm irritated with the world
i lock myself in my room and start playing emo songs to myself.
stuff like plane, how to save a life, everlong and what have you.
emo; one guitar and a whole lot of complaining.

happy birthday ben yeo.
its been freaking fun knowing you.
haha gotta thank aaron for that. 

happy birthday candice,
its been awhile.

Hello Dear Passengers, and welcome to the Duck River Cruise,
where the hours are long and the pay a little.

thank god for my colleagues.

wow huh, its been a week since i started working, and boy oh boy has it been tough.
payday's on the 31st, gonna splurge it all on a pretty darn sweet Puma watch.
oh yea, guess what,
THEY"RE NOT FREAKING SIGNING ME ON FOR FULL TIME.

which means, in the working world at least, NO CPF DEDUCTIONS.
right so i did a little math, and calculater that if i chiong, i could actually hit 1200 bucks a month!
for 22 working days, its pretty darn good.
so if i work for 2 months, i would get 2400!
that would settle my drumset and all my other needs.
golly.

but hey, working is pretty tough. 
now the only time i get to see my pals is when i don't have work the next day.
sounds easy don;t it?
then factor in me working 6 days a week.
DARN IT.
i havan;t spent quality time with Daydream for ages. 
back then we used to spend all our freaking holidays together doing retarded stuff.
so apparently i'm the only one in Daydream working.
haha, 1st big cheque, beer's on me dudes.

i'm still waiting apparently, for the cows to come home.
bollocks. 

gosh i've always wanted to use that word. HAH!
BOLLOCKS.


lazily he crosses his legs,
stretches his arms.
with the sky a brilliant blue, 
he doesn't mind just sitting there
watching the clouds fly by.
with soft music playing from the bar down the road, 
he slowly drifts to sleep. 
-
a beautiful daydream, 
- 
he rouses himself, 
the sun is setting,
casting a red glow on everything.
vibrant hues of red, orange and yellow light up the sky,
hell, nothing beats waking up from one happy ending to the next,
life being a multitude of happy endings blended together like a setting sun.
smiling to himself, he checks his watch,
it reads 2.38,
this moment, Timeless.

OOOOOOHHH. story writing.
havan;t done this in a while. 
its gonna be a full shift tmr, 
maybe time would run faster then.
till then, like the pleasant english couple today said to me,
cheerio!

HOHO!!!!!!

god LJ's such a bitch, its like so hard to use.
either that or i'm just technically unfit.

yeap you got it right. 
LJ's a bitch.

i'm working, its boring. i swear to god, its boring.
thank you jesus for my psp.

so my life's a real mess now, 
working leaves me no time for friends, 
bad decisions lead to fatal addictions,
messy rooms make for lost stuff.
And love, ah glorious love,

love's a bitch too in my book.

i made new friends!
logas - hardcore clubber with hazel eyes. WTF HAZEL LEHHHHHHHH.
aiman - aspiring j rock star
coco - not a nut, but a NJ dancer
lydia - mother like trainer
melvyn - person i report to who has a knack for haulling my ass outta trouble
deborah - person i got into trouble with; imagine trying to add hours to my clock in time in front of the assistant manager.
*i'm sorry i didn;t know she was the AM!! i swear.
logas cousin - cool in the effeminate way.
freddy - philly dude with an abundance of friend banna chips.
capt dave - i swear he's a 16 yr old in the body of a grandpa.
romeo - i kid you not, thats his name, dude who likes working at clark quay coz its beside hooters.
gill - cool counter person.
like all the captains who tried to get me to smoke with them.
roger -  head of operations i think, fast talker.
SJ - fellow DRO.

and all these ppl talk cock like hell. gosh. there was this convo about prostrate cancer.
mel scared the shit outta me by saying they chop off the balls. 
i'm pretty sure they just chemo the crotch till all the pubs fall out though. 
see fatal addictions.

and yes, goodbye life. i'm gonna sign on as a full timer soon.
6 days a week guys. i'm screwed.

cheers!